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Motherhood Is My Favorite Occupation

[MODERATOR's Note - After a hiatus of several months, the Blogkadahan Proust round is back! We apologize for the exceptionally long hibernation. Like any other family, we underwent some internal changes. Today, we are back where we were before. This time, we're stronger and wiser. And we will continue to spawn creative posts to inspire and entertain everyone who will visit us here. The post below was penned last June 2008, by our dear friend, Mec. Enjoy her answers!]

Your favorite virtue
Hands down, it’s courage. I have written about it before, why I think courage is the greatest of all virtues, and nothing has changed. From where I am right now, it’s courage that keeps me moving forward with all the non-guarantees of this life.

Your favorite qualities in a man
GENTLENESS. By vitue of our many double-standards and how men are usually brought up, I am immensely always drawn to a man by his capacity to be gentle, to treat something with respect and not brute force, with much consideration, even amazement, over taking things for granted, as if the world owes him.

Your favorite qualities in a woman
STILLNESS. I think only a few women really manage this, given our many, and varied, expectations of ourselves… and the conflicting expectations by others from us.

Your chief characteristic
HUMOR. I’m not saying I am a funny person, but I know I can always find something to laugh about… and that’s how I know I will survive.

What you appreciate the most in your friends
THEIR INDIVIDUAL HISTORIES, which makes for perspectives I wouldn’t have considered otherwise, opinions I always respect, and a testament to how there are other lives being lived, other stories being told aside from mine.

Your main fault
SLOTH. I know I can be many things more but I am too lazy to become them.

Your favorite occupation
MOTHERHOOD... it’s also, like what I’ve always believed, the greatest privilege of all, even considering my meltdowns.

Your idea of happiness
It’s not really as elusive as most people consider it to be… but you have got to determine first what will make you happy… and you have to sort of define it at its most minimum. Something like “happily married to a guy who loves me” as opposed to “happily married to a guy who loves me and showers me with praises, buys me diamonds, changes diapers and gives me a massage nightly”.

Your idea of misery
Not being healthy. Worse, being sick (or dying) and not having someone to hold your hand and tell you how loved you are.

What do you hate the most?
Parents who mistreat their kids, whether by actual abuse, or by negligence and apathy.

If not yourself, who would you be?
Angelina Jolie… not because I want to steal a married guy from his wife (even if it is Brad Pitt) but because I cannot help but applaud her for wanting so many kids, biological and adopted. And okay, she’s having twins too! Eventhough I don’t think I can take care of twins, it’s still always a maternal fantasy… to give birth to a pair. Hehe.

Where would you like to live?
I wouldn’t mind living in the garden community of Davao, up in the Malagos area… or in the beach town of El Nido. Someplace where nature is abundant and living is simple… but there’s still internet. Abroad, New Zealand or Ireland seem to be the cleanest, greenest places.

Your favourite colour
YELLOW because it’s such a happy color.

Your favourite flower
Mine, and I hope hubby thinks the same. Nyahahaha… sorry, I can’t resist immitating Proust’s answer. Seriously though, GERBERA DAISIES because they’re such happy flowers.

Your favourite prose authors
JK Rowling, as of the moment.

Your favourite poets
Dare I say myself? But i’d also love to have Emily Dickinson’s natural talent for the simple and intriguing.

Your favourite heroes in fiction
Albus Dumbledore!!!

Your favourite heroes in real life
Oprah. I frown on her splurging so much on herself, eventhough she deserves it, but excesses aside, I admire her for how she has reinvented “single black female”.

Your favourite painters
Leonardo da Vinci… because he is more than a painter.

Your favourite composers
The Beatles and Apo Hiking Society… for their timeless music. And Rodgers and Hammerstein for ‘The Sound of Music’.

Characters in history you most dislike
‘Dislike’ is such a strong word but I never really liked Emilio Aguinaldo.

Military event in history you like the most
The EDSA 1 Revolution… because of its promise.

Your favourite food
Chicken… fried, tinola, adobo, sinampalukan. And seafood. And cake, ice cream and chocolates.

Your favourite drink
MIlk.

Natural talent you’d like to be gifted with
Great eye for pictures.

How do you wish to die?
With a loved one holding my hand.

What is your present state of mind?
A little antsy but happy.

What fault can you tolerate the most?
Hypocrisy I guess, because we’re all guilty of it.

What fault can you not tolerate?
Disrespect.

Your favorite personal motto in life?
The best is yet to come.

I’m a Cheerful Worrywart

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

The perfect happiness for me? I’m pretty happy right now and I keep telling myself if I only lose the flab on my belly and tone up, if I only had all my debts paid, if I only…if I only…so this tells me that the perfect happiness for me is to be able to accept my body no matter how imperfect it is, to acknowledge that my state of finances needs improvement and to work on improving but not worrying over it to the point of my shoulders getting tense. Basically, worry less act more and be happy in the actions taken.

What is your greatest fear?

Before my greatest fear was losing my husband. While that would still break my heart, it wouldn’t break it as beyond repair is if something were to happen to Mina. If she were to die quickly with little pain, I can accept that. Again my heart would be heartbroken but not as beyond repair if she were to go through something traumatic. I would lose my head if someone were to hurt her and her innocence in all the unimaginable ways predators hurt children, or hurt women, or hurt others. And what if she were to disappear with me not knowing exactly what happened. I would be like the living dead I think. She is so precious to me, so all the usual mother’s fears are present for me.

Which living person do you most admire?

I have a few that I admire. I love strong, accomplished women; the more humble the beginning the more I love them. Oprah is one of them. I love that she doesn’t rest on her laurels. She keeps creating, giving, and inspiring, trying to make a difference in people’s lives. I also love J.K. Rowling. Her Harry Potter series has literally captivated me. I get shivers when I read her books. I’m now rereading it and I can’t believe the intricacy of the world she created and how everything fits from Book 1 to 7. I admire moms I see on passing who look fit, happy and cheerful surrounded by their brood of 4 or more. I always wanted many children but that is not to be for me. I hope I have twins next so I’ll at least have 3 biological kids. We’re not ruling out adoption though.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Self-absorption. There are others but hat is the one I deplore the most.

What is your greatest extravagance?

I have a nearly $300 wallet. I think it’s an extravagance. It brings back so many good memories though that I like to think it was worth the money.

What is your favorite journey?

When I went to Italy last year I went with friends who I’d been friends with for a while now. There were eight of us. Aside from a few frustrations we hardly argued about anything. And we had a hell of a good time. My favorite journey would be discovering new places, soaking up a culture, and having wine and laughter at every meal (and sometimes in between), and doing it all with people whose company I enjoy.

On what occasion do you lie?

Asking forgiveness is easier than asking permission so I lie at times to smooth passage. I bought an item once without my husband’s knowledge. I asked forgiveness later. That item was $2000. I have vowed never to do that again. But I still do for items less than $100.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Cool. But I like to think that I’ve got an expansive vocabulary and know how to use my words so to speak.

What is your greatest regret?

That I didn’t go to nursing school like I planned to when I first went to college. But my husband and I really think we were supposed to meet that way. I met him after I switched majors/schools.

Where and when were you the happiest?

I’m a pretty happy person but the last time I was beyond words happy was during my last trip to Italy. I was pregnant, feeling amazing, glowing, and having the time of my life.

What is your current state of mind?

I’m worrying. Nothing new. I’m in constant state of anxiety that everything work out like I plan and hope for the future.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d worry less and trust that things will work out more.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

My greatest achievement is going through labor cheerfully, calmly and without hysterics. I am usually a tense and hysterical person when it comes to stressful situations. The drugs may have something to do with it but the first 6 hours of labor when I didn’t have medicine I was still really calm.

If you were to die and comeback as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I’d come back as me but hopefully born with everything I knew in the past life. That would be something. So many things to do over.

What is your most treasured possession?

If we’re speaking in terms of things I have none. Not really.

What do regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Negative people who try to bring others down with them. People that only offer or point out flaws and problems, not solutions. People who hurt others cause theyr’e so fucked up themselves.

Where would like to live?

I like it here in California actually. A house by the beach. It’s one of my dreams.

What is your favorite occupation?

A writer.

What is your most marked characteristic?

My cheerfulness. I know, I’m a cheerful worrywart. I like to laugh, talk, eat, drink, laugh some more, giggle, be merry.

What is the quality you like most in a man?

Secure. A man who is secure in his masculinity is so damn alluring.

What is the quality you like most in a woman?

Same. A secure woman has no need to backstab and demoralize other women.

Who are your favorite writers?

Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Jane Austen, Jennifer Weiner, J.K Rowling, Maeve Binchy and Jay David.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Hermione Granger.

Who are your heroes in real life?

My husband, Woody. That man has done me good.

What is that you most dislike?

I most dislike self-absorption.

How would you like to die?

In my sleep after having had the most wonderful day with my children and grand-children.

What is your motto?

I really don’t have one.

Provide a screenshot of your desktop today.

It’s of course a picture of Mina.

The Way The Cookie Crumbles

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Stability… in relationships and in my financial dealings.

What is your greatest fear?

I fear a brutal death in the hands of some psycho…I think I watch too many movies. And perhaps just like anyone, I would fear the loss of the lives of people who are dear to me. Enough said…the mere idea of these things happening makes me pause and see my life flash before me.

Which living person do you most admire?

No one. This question brings out the existentialist in me.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Being dishonest. “Honesty, is such a lonely word…everyone is so untrue…” Billy Joel must agree with me…the world is so full of chronic truth twisters, two-faced BS-ers, integrity seems to be a thing long forgotten!

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Who am I? An Introspection…

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Perfect happiness for me is when I can let go of myself without any reservations or whatever. When I can laugh to my heart’s content forgetting all the troubles I have.

 

What is your greatest fear?
If there’s anything I fear, it would be to see any of my children fail and be hurt. I have reached the point in my life where I don’t give a rat’s ass about anything except for my family, especially my children. I have always hoped that they would be very successful and happy. Seeing them fail would not really be so bad as I know that it is in failure that we begin to long for perfection but to see them be hurt in the process would definitely break my heart.

Which living person do you most admire?
Actually, I have two. One would be BatJay for his truthfulness to himself and his awesome self-discipline. While I try to work out being truthful to myself, I wouldn’t even dare try to impose self-discipline. Another person would be Doc Emer for his dedication to his career, his focus and determination.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Hypocrisy. Enough said!

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I’m Done with Heroes, After All

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
time to spend exactly the way I want to… mostly at home, huddled against Papa on the couch watching TV, and I do not have to think about the laundry, or what to do for lunch, or when I’m by myself, lay on the bed with a good book that I can read for as long as I like and I can let the phone ring for as long as it likes and I have the luxury of not caring

What is your greatest fear?
death of a loved one; of snakes is a close second

Which living person do you most admire?
I admire a lot of different people for a lot of different things. But if I am to name one single person I admire most, I guess there is none. These same persons that I admire for something will tend to disappoint me in other things. I do appreciate that everyone is packaged with the good and the bad and that makes it tough to be gifted with the responsibility of being admired. We all get bad hair days. In general, I admire people who are able to beat the odds in the direst of circumstances.

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28 Qs About Moi

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
- To be home with my loved one.

What is your greatest fear?
- Losing a family or a close friend.

Which living person do you most admire?
- My Mama. She’s a survivor despite her quirks.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
- Whiners, especially those who think that they carry all the world’s sufferings.

What is your greatest extravagance?
- Shoes. Can’t have enough.

What is your favorite journey?
- My career. It afforded my travels and has become a very important factor in achieving my childhood dream.

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Proust was a fucking riot

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

saturday morning with jet at home, breakfast in bed watching reruns of seinfeld.

What is your greatest fear?

walking out in the street, suddenly finding out that you forgot to put your pants on.

Which living person do you most admire?

my mom and auntie nana

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

people with body odor or bad breath. but i’d rather spend time with them in a closed room than be with people who are corrupt, mayabang, masama ugali and selfish

What is your greatest extravagance?

my fucking car - it’s oversized, too expensive and i barely use it. i also have $120 running shoes

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I think therefore I am…

… and I am who I am.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
My family, in-laws, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousin, husband and I gathered around the lunch table in my parents’ veranda on a balmy Sunday afternoon, cracking jokes and laughing out loud. These are the moments that make me feel supremely thankful and happy.

What is your greatest fear?
Losing loved ones always gives me the shivers. While I know life isn’t permanent, my love for them IS.

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Nosce Te Ipsum

It is often difficult to comprehend the true substance of a good blogger. The internet is one of the last places where one can look for meaningful social interaction. People need to see faces and interpret body languages to acquire an initial understanding of how other people are really like. Even with a crude interpretation like that, there can be trouble. A book is not always judged by its cover. Miscalculations and overestimations of personalities are frequent. Because of these, friendships are often stained with quarrels and petty misunderstandings. Truly, the only best way to know a person is to live with them for a lifetime. Who is able to do that? And in the world of bloggers — much as you might admire how they write — that is an impossible dream!

But all is not lost. One can always try to lift that thick veil that separates us (readers and bloggers). For this round of postings, Blogkadahan members will try to answer the Proust Questions. The objective is to have a glimpse of ourselves. Our wish is that this will help you know more about us.

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Thank You 2007! — The Round-Up

Bago niyo po basahin ang mga liham at pasasalamat namin sa 2007, nais kong ipakilala muli sa inyo ang mga Rebels without Because. Heto na nga, ang Blogkadahan, isang barkada ng mga Pinoy at Pinay na mahilig sa jokes, sa pagkwento at siyempre, sa pagsulat. Sa simula, bloggers lang kami sa isa’t isa. Ngunit pagkatapos ng ilang pagkikita at pagtitipon sa Pot & Noodle House, sa Starbucks, sa bahay ni Batjay at kung saan-saang bahagi ng mundo ay para bang naramdaman namin na hindi lang blogging ang aming common denominator. Compatible pala kami lahat. Kumbaga sa FLAMES eh, lahat kami ay nasa F (friends) at A (admirers, not angry). Meron ding L sa amin (isipin niyo nalang kung sino).

Ilang taon na rin kaming magkakaibigan. Apat na taon na po kaming magkakakilala’t magkakabiruan, magkaka-blogkadahan.

Kaya’t pwede bang magpasalamat? Salamat po sa Blogging Berks sa pagsasama, sa tiwala, sa pagmamahal at sa mga katuwaan. Bihira makahanap ng totoong mga kaibigan sa napakalalim na cyberspace, ngunit hindi imposible. Heto na nga, ang Blogkadahan. Salamat, mga kaibigan.

The Thank You 2007 PostsBorn again in ‘07
To dive in head first, to open your arms and embrace newness — this may lead to beautiful African roses, an even stronger belief in one’s abilities and an ongoing life journey with beautiful surprises, holding hands with that special someone along the way. Joyce shares with us what she is thankful for this 2007.

40 Days and 40 Nights
Svelte Rogue shares her year in seasons — a blend of melancholy and peacefulness, of love and rebirth. She shows us that while winter, spring, summer and fall color each stage of our lives differently, this myriad of colors, in the end, make for a beautiful kaleidoscope, an imprint of each season’s gifts that we will always be thankful for.

Thank You 2007 for friends
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “How much of human life is lost in waiting.” But Mr. Emerson, sometimes it is in the waiting that something blossoms. It is in the waiting that new realizations are made, that new paths are cleared, that true hearts shine. And when that happens, we don’t lose our human life as we think, but instead grow — grow despite the pain and be thankful for the good things that kept us strong throughout. This is what Mec teaches us.

Nauubos din ang malas
While we acknowledge our mortality, it is always unexpectedly painful when loved ones pass on and leave a gap in our lives. These holes will never be filled, but nevertheless we strive to be strong and make life go on. While autumn leaves crumble and fade way, the promise of spring blossoms lightens our hearts and reminds us of the beauty of our lives, despite its impermanence. And so we live, laugh, love and let life unfold, welcoming the blossoms of spring without forgetting the coldness of winter. Tito Rolly shares this with us.

2007
Movement seems to be the theme of Ruth’s 2007. As she puts it, her year has been a rollercoaster. There have been wild dips and unexpected turns, but there was also the thrilling anticipation of what those uphill climbs would bring and the exhilarating feeling that follows. Not everyone can stomach the extraordinary speed and surpises a rollercoaster can bring, but she carries through beautifully with her hair flying in the wind, her arms up in the air, her heart open to and thankful for this amazing ride of a year.

Thank you po talaga!
Be it something as minute as a tea bag or as grand as friendship, we are always showered with something good. This is why there is always something to be thankful for in our lives. Tatang Rome shares with us what he is thankful for in a style all his own — funny, graceful and positively cheery.

Thank you for Mina
Feel the joy, peace and warmth radiate from this beautiful ode to what Tintin is most grateful for this year. There is no greater love than a mother’s for her child. This love is deeply palpable in her beautiful thanksgiving.

Salamat sa Inyo
“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.” True friendship is difficult to find but a joy to keep indeed. Over time, it is nurtured. Over time, it blossoms beautifully. To find the right circle of friends for you can also be quite a challenge, but when you have discovered that circle who cherishes you, and who you love back genuinely, in a way, you can say, you have found a home away from home. Sachiko shares her thanksgiving with and for the Blogging Berks — the group of friends behind this Blogkadahan website.

IT ALL COMES BACK TO YOU
A little lilac flower uncurling its petals, slowly, quietly, welcoming the morning dew as it touches its skin in greeting. This is the imagery of Jet’s graceful words. In her poetic thanksgiving, we feel her heartfully embrace the charm and fascinating surprises her life brings.

And now I’m ready to be extraordinary…
Mari is a warrior maiden — tough, calculating, passionate. 2007 has presented her with vast opportunities to shine. In her thanksgiving to this year, we see how this woman radiates with a hard-edged strength that is softly tempered by the love of family, of self, and maybe even something more.

Thank you 2007
With positivity, acceptance and an understanding of what the world has shared with him, Bong K embraces all of 2007’s gifts with fervor. There is always a reason to give thanks, be they minute or grand, and he lightheartedly and beautifully shows us how.

I open my arms and embrace you
2007 has been my favorite year — I turned 30, I discovered the life path I want to pursue, I glowed in the love of friends and family, and helped others shine. Words will never be enough to capture my thanksgiving for 2007, but in this poem, I hope I give structure to my thank-you, even just a little bit.

Two branches of one tree face the setting sun
With his trademark wit, Batjay gives us a glimpse of how the year was good to him. Feel the pride and share the love with him and his 2007.

I thank you, 2007
Each year makes her stronger, more soulful, sassier and sexier — our gorgeous Ajay gives her thanks to a much-loved 2007 and excitedly looks forward to a spectacular 2008, one that looks to be filled with even more lovin’.

In other blogs:

Thank you 2007!
Ibyang shares with us why this year has been a beautiful year of transitions for her, as well as a meaningful one for self-discovery.

Thank you 2007!